Cheers to your smiles, your cars, your houses
Cheers to your success measured in paper
Cheers to this separate path we follow
So different from yours
Materialistic and mainstream
Yet I bow to you
For your happiness and fulfillment
Watch me follow my path
See the steps I take
My smile may outshine yours
And I apologize
But my tarnished gold outweighs your jewels
By far

So happy. Can’t do much but sit and smile at the wall.

It’s Sunday, it’s okay to do that

Yes, sir. Yes… it is.

I’m completely content.

Honestly.

I got all moved in to my new place. It’s great. All I need is a couch and to finish up a few things. I hope this works out well. I really hope it does. I love him, I really do. I hope he loves me just as much. I hope all the things he says are true.

Anyway… I got a couple prank phone calls today. People are stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Also, a couple recent parties have ended badly. A shooting at one and an almost-fight at the other. I kind of want to start staying home. As long as I have my two boys I should be fine, right? I hope so.

I have such great hope for this. I’m just scared.

Today was horrible. Everything went wrong.. how the fuck does that happen? It ended up turning out well… but how on earth..? Idk.. I didn’t realize so many bad things could happen in a row in one day! Bad appointment, worse appointment that was dissatisfied and left, another bad appointment, printer broke, saw an old hookup (that I have avoided) on my lunch break, got lost in Bellevue, Walmart broke my car, lost my keys with window down…drove around to find them and found out they were IN my car..with window down and people in my car, needed a new battery AND new part.. I can’t remember if I left anything out. So much bad shit kept happening today…

I need motivation.
I need a way to make money.
I need a home that’s not with parents… I need to be a big girl and do it on my own!

I’m such a dependent person! It bothers me.